============================================================== Guild: Write Club Channel: Archives-2026-August / 08-19-26-laurie-macintosh ============================================================== [8/11/2026 8:28 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Here we go! https://misslauriemacmacmac.substack.com/p/that-damn-song?r=30n9qd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true [8/18/2026 8:09 PM] starcryst {Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1536890282052943934/1539426114890637354/2a35bf2a-ad81-40a0-a8b4-5d5b94b28555.png?ex=6ab9078a&is=6ab7b60a&hm=e0675bc3e4fdd4de84fcc471a6fd84aa1af1221fe98510c80c60c34b416bc1cf& {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (3) 🥂 (4) 💖 (3) 🎉 (2) [8/18/2026 8:09 PM] starcryst @lauriemacNorCal [8/19/2026 6:03 PM] .revanarchy @lauriemacNorCal Im going to sit this one out. I read it, listened to some Supertramp, and I just don't think I have anything productive to say. Its so far outside my genres that my advice would probably do more harm than good. But thanks for sharing. [8/19/2026 6:09 PM] starcryst @everyone join us at 7pm EST tonight for @lauriemacNorCal's story. You can help promote it below if you wish: https://substack.com/profile/408299644-david-t-etheredge/note/c-318389409 {Embed} https://substack.com/profile/408299644-david-t-etheredge/note/c-318389409 David T Etheredge (@davidtetheredge) Tonight at Write Club we have a story from @Laurie MacIntosh, That Damn Song. Read it below and join us at 7pm EST for discussion with the author. https://misslauriemacmacmac.substack.com/p/that-damn-song? https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/8oEGMfH3VtMpfEUiJNNdUggrdPXnyCfFGFuXmPMGrmg/https/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/%24s_%21_PAs%21%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep/https%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252Fbc6d91ef-7b08-4d2b-bbd4-8f2aa4d2e895_1672x941.png {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (3) 💯 (2) 🤣 (2) [8/19/2026 6:11 PM] vesperlrayne_04128 I've read it twice and loved it twice ❤️ [8/19/2026 6:14 PM] kotaotan SAME. This was delightful! {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 6:40 PM] thegalacticwriter I can’t get the song out of my head now!!!😜 [8/19/2026 6:44 PM] somedesertrat There, got my notes prepped [8/19/2026 6:52 PM] josisofer I'm going to be slow today, fair warning [8/19/2026 6:54 PM] erisindex Be slow, or slap all of your notes on there at one time like I did yesterday because it was taking 8 minutes to copy and paste one tiny paragraph on my phone. {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/19/2026 6:54 PM] rubygs How did you like Spiderman btw? {Reactions} 🔥 ❤️ [8/19/2026 6:55 PM] vesperlrayne_04128 I have to pick up my child so I cannot be here for this but Laurie, I have no notes. You did a lovely piece of work. The jokes landed, the progression was excellent. I loved the theme, loved how you handled it. And the ending was perfect and made me crack up! Honestly, I can't give you critique becuase there is nothing really to critique. You handed us one small bundle of perfect, my friend. {Reactions} ❤️ (3) [8/19/2026 6:55 PM] josisofer She liked it so much she attended my write club sesh {Reactions} 🤣 (3) [8/19/2026 6:56 PM] erisindex Loved the parts I saw, but I had a four yr old with me. Her first time being at the movie theater. The movie was... long. [8/19/2026 6:56 PM] rubygs OH my goodness I understand [8/19/2026 6:56 PM] josisofer {Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1536890282052943934/1539770115980005436/image0.gif?ex=6ab8f66b&is=6ab7a4eb&hm=a0f6f0550779239883e57aac35afbd1dea163944c63b65b32c26b715a9610edd& {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/19/2026 6:56 PM] erisindex I was up and down and up and down and handing her markers, and popcorn, and etc. It was a whole thing, lmao. {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 6:57 PM] josisofer I don't take them to movies anymore because I'm broke and I'm sick of kids movies {Reactions} 🔥 ❤️ 👏 [8/19/2026 6:57 PM] starcryst https://klipy.com/gifs/spin-present-mic {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/spin-present-mic Present Mic Spinning https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/FtLPmx2Pzml4v7GmAt99GGjHMNWT36gqXuGo3OxWuzI/https/static.klipy.com/ii/c3a19a0b747a76e98651f2b9a3cca5ff/80/ae/hFIJqnjB.webp [8/19/2026 6:57 PM] rubygs BF has a 6 year old. So I can understand. {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 6:58 PM] starcryst Welcome to WRITE CLUB! {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (2) [8/19/2026 6:58 PM] gonzpaoli So sorry @lauriemacNorCal I read and loved it, but I'm rushing to get dinner (actually, tomorrow's lunch) done before my classes begin! I'll drop my notes later on! {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (2) [8/19/2026 6:59 PM] starcryst If you are new to this, WELCOME. Here are some guidelines for you to read about how we run this shindig; {Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1536890282052943934/1539770731951431851/Write_Club_Chat_Format.png?ex=6ab8f6fe&is=6ab7a57e&hm=960ab67aa36ad1407a65dcbfc194efed3ed99fb0acb65e1f6b03bd20aee93106& {Reactions} ❤️ (3) 🔥 (2) [8/19/2026 6:59 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 no worries, sweetie! {Reactions} 🫂 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] starcryst @lauriemacNorCal how do you want your critique tonight? Poached or Covered in Hot Sauce? {Reactions} 🤣 😂 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] josisofer What is that comparison? [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Hot sauce all the way!!!!! [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] somedesertrat https://klipy.com/gifs/ranko-mannen-moe-moe-kyun {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/ranko-mannen-moe-moe-kyun Ranko Mannen's Moe Moe Kyun from Akiba Maid War https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/VXkVYweKnOjqxcCZYUCcGKsVTTseVQVhcewGIKS0N0c/https/static.klipy.com/ii/c3a19a0b747a76e98651f2b9a3cca5ff/d6/62/KLygclrA.webp [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] thegalacticwriter 👋 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] fictionshroom 👋 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] rubygs 👋 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] somedesertrat 👋 [8/19/2026 7:00 PM] hammondjohns 👋 [8/19/2026 7:01 PM] josisofer 👋 [8/19/2026 7:01 PM] erisindex 👋 [8/19/2026 7:01 PM] starcryst Okay if you are ready to provide feedback, you can already see how its done -- use an emoji to wave your yellow rubber gloved hand in the air! [8/19/2026 7:01 PM] starcryst And when you are finished, don't forget to say DONE [8/19/2026 7:01 PM] starcryst @The Galactic Writer GO! [8/19/2026 7:02 PM] thegalacticwriter Take a look at my girlfriend She’s the only one I got Not much of a girlfriend I never seem to get a lot Yes, Laurie, but did you put out? 😆 Okay, hi! 🙋🏻‍♀️What a fun read! This one was my fave: Before that stupid song, “lovely” was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickin’ cocker spaniel. And pretty? That’s how you describe someone’s 16-year-old niece. That’s not the word you use for the girlfriend of rock royalty. I felt the angst—yet the hilarity, too! Super playful, like you! I loved reading it! By the way—to me, you’re gorgeous!🫶💎🫠☺️ DONE!!!! {Reactions} 🤣 (7) 🔥 (6) ❤️ (6) 💯 [8/19/2026 7:03 PM] starcryst @✨🍄Fiction Shroom🍄✨ GO! [8/19/2026 7:03 PM] fictionshroom Wee. {Reactions} 🔥 (3) [8/19/2026 7:03 PM] fictionshroom @The Galactic Writer stole my fav line! lOL {Reactions} 🤣 (3) 🥂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:03 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Thank you -- for the record, the story is not about me. lol {Reactions} ❤️‍🔥 (6) [8/19/2026 7:03 PM] fictionshroom This was a fun story and quite relatable. The whole feeling of compliments not landing very true {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (2) [8/19/2026 7:04 PM] thegalacticwriter Sure….. {Reactions} 🤣 (4) [8/19/2026 7:04 PM] fictionshroom And then the indifference at the end A little perspective shift. I like the writing and voice of it all. It was a good read. {Reactions} ❤️ 🔥 💯 [8/19/2026 7:04 PM] fictionshroom No criticism really. [8/19/2026 7:05 PM] fictionshroom My hubby used to play the cover of that song and say it was me, and I didn't like it and thought it was mean but he thought it was cute. So this story was personal to me LOL {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 🫂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:05 PM] fictionshroom DONE [8/19/2026 7:05 PM] starcryst @steffie GO! [8/19/2026 7:06 PM] rubygs Favorite Line: “Roger told me, the media, and anyone who would listen that he was writing from the perspective of himself as a 14-year-old.” -Well yeah, just like I love to listen to breakup songs and all that and my relationship is fine. It’s just a mental zone you visit. Favorite Scene: Not beautiful. Lovely. Before that stupid song, “lovely” was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickin’ cocker spaniel. And pretty? That’s how you describe someone’s 16-year-old niece. That’s not the word you use for the girlfriend of rock royalty. - She’s really losing it now. I found this little rant of hers rather funny Critique: None, what a cute piece of fiction! Questions: None Done! ❤️ {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 [8/19/2026 7:06 PM] somedesertrat 🥹 [8/19/2026 7:07 PM] starcryst @Carl Price GO! [8/19/2026 7:07 PM] somedesertrat 😃 [8/19/2026 7:07 PM] fictionshroom I wasn't sure! 🤣 [8/19/2026 7:07 PM] somedesertrat Let me say first off that this piece actually confused me some and, despite that confusion--**which was a good thing**--I enjoyed reading it. Now, on to why I was confused, and why it's a good thing. I couldn't tell if this was fiction written as a character-development piece, an entry for a 'character blog' (people used to do those...do they still? I don't know), or if this was non-fiction. And that right there is the good thing. If this is non-fiction, kudos on you for offering it to the Club. If it's fiction, I love how deeply and fluidly you've dropped into the character's headspace for this, from the nostalgic reminiscence to the injections of sardonic wit and ending with the Gen-X angst towards the parents. Beautifully written in my opinion. {Reactions} 🔥 (3) ❤️ (3) 💯 [8/19/2026 7:07 PM] somedesertrat Fave line: Not beautiful. Lovely. Before that stupid song, “lovely” was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickin’ cocker spaniel. And pretty? That’s how you describe someone’s 16-year-old niece. That’s not the word you use for the girlfriend of rock royalty. I think it's going to get mentioned quite a bit {Reactions} 🔥 (3) ❤️ (3) 🤣 (3) 😂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:08 PM] somedesertrat Constructive criticism: This was too damn short. I wanted **MORE** {Reactions} 🔥 (3) ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:08 PM] somedesertrat DONE [8/19/2026 7:08 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 All fiction, sweet Carl! {Reactions} 👍 (3) 💯 (3) [8/19/2026 7:08 PM] starcryst @Hammond! GO [8/19/2026 7:09 PM] hammondjohns Favorite line: “Where are the beautiful women?” Constructive criticism: I wonder if you could have done more with this? It’s nearly over before it begins. Questions for author: What was the inspiration for this piece? The song, of course, but any reason why this angle jumped out to you? Were you surprised that so many people took it for a true story? Done {Reactions} 🔥 (4) ❤️ (3) 👏 (3) [8/19/2026 7:09 PM] starcryst @Josi Sofer GO! [8/19/2026 7:10 PM] josisofer Favorite lines: Not beautiful. Lovely. Before that stupid song, “lovely” was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickin’ cocker spaniel. And pretty? That’s how you describe someone’s 16-year-old niece. That’s not the word you use for the girlfriend of rock royalty. AND {Reactions} 🔥 (3) 💪 (2) [8/19/2026 7:10 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 @Hammond , thank you! It just popped into my head one day how much it would suck to be his girlfriend, {Reactions} ❤️ (3) 💪 😮 [8/19/2026 7:11 PM] josisofer "Prior to the release of that song, I thought I was not half bad. Only a year before, I’d described myself as “cute,” but a friend of mine disagreed. “You’re not cute. . . you’re pretty.” She said it so matter-of-factly. I remembered being flattered. And then Roger's stupid song came out..." {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ (3) [8/19/2026 7:11 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 And yes, I continue to be flabbergasted that people think it's about me. lol {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (2) 😄 (3) [8/19/2026 7:11 PM] josisofer Like, my illusion of my beauty was fighting for its life, until Roger's dumbass... {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (2) 🤣 [8/19/2026 7:12 PM] josisofer Criticism: You should have labeled it fiction with a character name because now we're going to tease you that Roger destroyed your self esteem {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🤣 (3) 😂 (4) [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] josisofer DONE [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 LOL!!!!! [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] starcryst @Eris Index GO! [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] erisindex Fav lines: “Before that stupid song, ‘lovely’ was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickan’ cocker spaniel.” {Reactions} 💯 [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] gonzpaoli Oooohhh THAT'S who it is! 🤯 [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] erisindex This made me laugh because it’s so specific and so petty in the most human way. Once insecurity gets its vicious claws in, even a perfectly nice word can sound like a horrific insult. Most women understand this. I’m not a man, so I won’t comment on if they feel the same. But I do think standards are made on both men and women, and it pisses me off to no end. {Reactions} 💯 [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] erisindex “You’re complaining because you’re a pretty girl whose boyfriend is now a millionaire rockstar.” [8/19/2026 7:13 PM] erisindex Her mother absolutely murdered her with a measly little sentence. I love how little sympathy she gets because, from the outside, her problem sounds completely ridiculous. But since I sometimes act the same way, I can def understand it. My husband thinks I’m a nutjob for complaining about my looks, sooooo, def understandable. {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 7:14 PM] erisindex Fav scene: The whole bit where she keeps bringing it back to Roger and mentally downgrading every compliment he gives. My favorite for sure. Pretty? Lovely? Nope. Apparently all unacceptable now. It’s funny, but it also gets at how one stupid thing can completely rearrange the way you hear everything after the fact.. {Reactions} 🔥 [8/19/2026 7:14 PM] erisindex Criticism: Honestly, not much to add here. It’s short, and the voice is doing all of the work for it. Maybe trim it a bit in the middle if you want it even punchier, but I like the length as is. {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:14 PM] erisindex Question: In case it isn’t asked, I’d like to know the origins of the story, or some personal detail about you and your thoughts on this particular story. Done. {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:14 PM] erisindex By the way, I loved it. [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] msadventurouspurple 👋 [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] starcryst @TheFictionForager GO! [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Thank you, @Eris Index Buy me a cocktail later and we'll talk! {Reactions} 🔥 ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] msadventurouspurple Favorite line: I hate my mother. {Reactions} 🤣 (4) 😂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] msadventurouspurple Short & sweet, I liked the little journey you took us on. {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:15 PM] erisindex @David T Etheredge - Inference has the cocktail covered, lol. {Reactions} 👍 (2) [8/19/2026 7:16 PM] msadventurouspurple Critique: I was confused in the beginning when it said “that’s me. I was the girlfriend.” It wasn’t clear to me that you meant that literally and not figuratively. I figured it out by paragraph 7 and then had to go back & reread from the beginning. Maybe add one additional sentence at the beginning for clarification? {Reactions} 👍 (2) [8/19/2026 7:16 PM] josisofer "Three raccoons in a trenchcoat look hotter than me right now." Husband: *rubs it on your leg* "What is wrong with him?" {Reactions} 🤣 (3) [8/19/2026 7:16 PM] msadventurouspurple Done {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 7:17 PM] starcryst OKAY -- anyone else lurking want to share what they thought of the story? Don't be shy! [8/19/2026 7:17 PM] starcryst Breakfast in America. {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 7:18 PM] starcryst Okay I'll go then -- [8/19/2026 7:18 PM] starcryst Favorite Lines: My mother had no sympathy for me. Not a drop. “Let me get this straight,” she said. “You’re complaining because you’re a pretty girl whose boyfriend is now a millionaire rock star.” I hate my mother. {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🤣 (3) 👆🏼 (2) [8/19/2026 7:19 PM] starcryst The funny thing is the song is about the singer not being happy with what he has [8/19/2026 7:19 PM] starcryst and dreaming of something he can't have and also, which isn't real {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 7:19 PM] starcryst And the girl in the story has the EXACT same disease {Reactions} 🔥 (3) 💯 (2) [8/19/2026 7:19 PM] starcryst So I loved that. {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:19 PM] starcryst They were made for each other. [8/19/2026 7:20 PM] starcryst I do agree that the way it was framed, I thought that this was an autobiographical story. I was gonna ask for an autograph! {Reactions} ❤️ (2) 🔥 (2) 🤣 (4) 😂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:20 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 lol [8/19/2026 7:20 PM] josisofer And Roger's [8/19/2026 7:21 PM] runeknight3 👋 [8/19/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst Well obviously, who want an autograph from a girl who is only pretty! {Reactions} 🤣 (6) 😂 (4) [8/19/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst Just Kidding! [8/19/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst Anyway, it was a very fun story and I agree that if there was a way you could fix the identity of the girl to some girl in Derry or something, that would be great. {Reactions} 👍 (3) [8/19/2026 7:22 PM] starcryst DONE [8/19/2026 7:22 PM] starcryst @RuneKnight3 GO! [8/19/2026 7:23 PM] runeknight3 Woo man, lost track of time. Regardless, I loved this. It was hilarious and very real. As a dude, I think of my self as rather average, and I have a heck of a time when a very beautiful woman tells me I'm handsome because I can never quite divest myself of the concern in the back of my head she's being nice to me, so I really empathized with the story. That being said, if your boyfriend is a millionaire and you have some bones to spare, please throw them my way. 🤣 {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 😂 (5) 👆🏼 (2) [8/19/2026 7:23 PM] runeknight3 DONE [8/19/2026 7:23 PM] starcryst Okay anyone else want a go??? [8/19/2026 7:24 PM] josisofer And you were worried men wouldn't get your story @lauriemacNorCal {Reactions} 😮 ❤️ (2) [8/19/2026 7:24 PM] starcryst Guys we should have known that @lauriemacNorCal wasn't the girl in the story -- she's from NorCal....she's the California Girl in the story! {Reactions} 🔥 (2) 😂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:24 PM] starcryst @lauriemacNorCal any last words for the room? [8/19/2026 7:25 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 I know this "genre" is uncommon here, so I appreciate everyones willingness to come along for the ride!! {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🫂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:25 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Thank you 8 jillion times!!!!! {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 🫂 (2) [8/19/2026 7:26 PM] somedesertrat 😃 you're welcome! 😃 {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:26 PM] rubygs Thank you for sharing with us! {Reactions} ❤️ [8/19/2026 7:27 PM] starcryst Okay that's all for Write Club tonight! Join us in #write-club-after-party-july-through-sept-2026 for 2d drinks, 3d people and 4d shameless self-promotion! If you are new here, come introduce yourself and tell us what you are working on so we can follow you and like your stories! {Reactions} 🔥 (3) 🍸 (3) 🍻 (3) [8/20/2026 4:40 AM] libeque_63539 Favorite line: “Before that stupid song, ‘lovely’ was, well, lovely. Now it sounds like someone patting me on the head like a frickin’ cocker spaniel.” Favorite scene: The exchange with her mother at the end. It made me chuckle. Constructive criticism: If you don’t know the song, I’m not sure the piece would land quite the same way. I had it playing somewhere in the back of my head while reading, which definitely added to it. That said, I don’t see it as a huge problem. The song is well known enough that I imagine a lot of readers will have the same experience. {Reactions} 🔥 ❤️ 👏 [8/21/2026 2:23 PM] lauriemacnorcal_28850 Thanks, @Libeque. I appreciate that you popped in the review to share your thoughtful response to the story. 😁 [8/23/2026 12:23 AM] shikanokoshitantan I read this a while ago! I don’t have anything worthy of a critique. This is a clean piece that you can easily read on the go. Maybe it’s just my interpretation, but it kinda stings that women start out being judged by their looks, and in the end, we’re remembered for our personalities. I have one question for the author tho: what was the motivation behind this piece? ============================================================== Exported 123 message(s) ==============================================================