============================================================== Guild: Write Club Channel: Archives-2026-August / 08-21-26-bekjon ============================================================== [8/20/2026 2:30 AM] re1nger https://bekjonibragimov.substack.com/p/an-ordinary-day?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3bx5j0 {Embed} https://bekjonibragimov.substack.com/p/an-ordinary-day?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=3bx5j0 An Ordinary Day The psychologist jotted something down in his notebook, then looked up at me again and asked: https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/w8O4c4kbwzfFqt8ZGjTWU5e9nyp_LDl2AJVGaXQK48g/https/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/%24s_%21ciMz%21%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Abest%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep/https%253A%252F%252Fbekjonibragimov.substack.com%252Fapi%252Fv1%252Fpost_preview%252F197747207%252Ftwitter.jpg%253Fversion%253D4 [8/21/2026 6:05 PM] starcryst @everyone join us at 7pm EST for tonight's Write Club! And if you want to help promote the story, you know what to do! https://substack.com/profile/408299644-david-t-etheredge/note/c-319838053 {Embed} https://substack.com/profile/408299644-david-t-etheredge/note/c-319838053 David T Etheredge (@davidtetheredge) Tonight at Write Club, we have author @Re1nGer | Existentialism with his story An Ordinary Day. If you’d like to join us and see what club is about read the story below and join us on Discord at http://WriteClub.Chat at 7pm EST. https://bekjonibragimov.substack.com/p/an-ordinary-day https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/5NhzJAj-DvcwtSNsKQQ1XycpMgPugVhXGMM5t1w2fTU/https/substackcdn.com/image/fetch/%24s_%21vTW0%21%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep/https%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F0d02d19c-c51e-474e-8acb-cae03cd66552_1448x1086.png [8/21/2026 6:59 PM] meganmarrow_40655 https://klipy.com/gifs/batman-lonely-1 {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/batman-lonely-1 Batman Sits Alone in the Rain https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/5_PtBClofAt_4DeFI0yJEJ2KQIHc6tPcG8eaxB_K9kU/https/static.klipy.com/ii/4e7bea9f7a3371424e6c16ebc93252fe/ba/ff/sejP89y7oCOGuccPmVk5.webp {Reactions} ❤️ (3) 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] thegalacticwriter https://klipy.com/gifs/interested-manifest-sNi {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/interested-manifest-sNi Manifest: Let's Unpack That https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/KNav4nyTzsQQnQli5bbpThn8RMKB_dwnt9JgPC8-VVI/https/static.klipy.com/ii/35ccce3d852f7995dd2da910f2abd795/e8/4b/F39jl5tj.webp {Reactions} ❤️ 🤣 [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] somedesertrat https://tenor.com/view/rambo-gif-1405350560634114256 {Embed} https://tenor.com/view/rambo-gif-1405350560634114256 Rambo GIF - Rambo - Discover & Share GIFs https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/-6SBIwy81tnSOge4u6XGkshQOd8RwMmtkes2WgnOcM4/https/media1.tenor.com/m/E4DO45d-ENAAAAAC/rambo.gif {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] meganmarrow_40655 👋 [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] lammbbb 🙋‍♂️ 🙋 🙋‍♀️ {Reactions} 👍 [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] thegalacticwriter 🙋🏻‍♀️ {Reactions} ❤️ 👍 [8/21/2026 7:00 PM] starcryst https://klipy.com/gifs/aizawa-slap {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/aizawa-slap Aizawa & Present Mic: Voice Hero Slap https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/TRYyqIX0IfjV5_bDcjJ05WsVHdxe87dl0_7d3GCfo5w/https/static.klipy.com/ii/4e7bea9f7a3371424e6c16ebc93252fe/61/06/3ByhjnHKWpFGWnojVd.webp {Reactions} 🔥 [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] somedesertrat https://klipy.com/gifs/akiba-maid-senso-otagei {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/akiba-maid-senso-otagei Akiba Maid Senso Otagei https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/CTz6JLPaOOYlE6uUgcjZ943ZqOtX7LJ6vaJtCksCOzQ/https/static.klipy.com/ii/a8ada81afc59159ea5c8927feffa2e31/f3/dc/3FCsT5Zm2ooNP9AI.webp [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] starcryst Welcome to WRITE CLUB!!!! [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] starcryst If you are new to our little shindig, here is the chat format for tonights event: {Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1536890420666040332/1540496124777988116/Write_Club_Chat_Format.png?ex=6ab8f791&is=6ab7a611&hm=503c5e689f4bde4fbc465cab3f2224f85e0855ac410a22808deaadf1565db8a7& [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] meganmarrow_40655 https://klipy.com/gifs/woo-42 {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/woo-42 Minions Cheering with Pink Pom Poms https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/rDzkpj7Wh3citghU8U3W07eHwL76I2UDCidXDKKUC7k/https/static.klipy.com/ii/84b4c0b02782dda9051003f9e36484ec/ec/23/aJsGjmlZ.webp {Reactions} 🤣 [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] rubygs 👋 [8/21/2026 7:01 PM] somedesertrat 👋 [8/21/2026 7:02 PM] starcryst If you are ready to share feedback, get your strangely pleasant to wear yellow latex dishwashing glove in the air! [8/21/2026 7:02 PM] thegalacticwriter 👋 [8/21/2026 7:02 PM] briancfahey 👋 {Reactions} 👍 [8/21/2026 7:02 PM] starcryst @re1nger what type of feedback would you like? Depressing or REALLY Depressng? {Reactions} 😭 [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] erisindex 👋 [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] starcryst You know what would be really depressing? If the author isn't here... 😛 {Reactions} 👀 [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] briancfahey Lol [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] meganmarrow_40655 oh no [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] rubygs wellllll crap [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] meganmarrow_40655 i actually read this time [8/21/2026 7:03 PM] erisindex He was on Substack earlier, commented on my comment. [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] lammbbb My first night officially back, ahaha [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] starcryst well the beauty of this format is that we can still share feedback and discuss it amongst ourselves and he can see it asynchronously! [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] meganmarrow_40655 is it like the 15 min rule in highschool? [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] lammbbb Oh here! [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] lammbbb I see typifications [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] re1nger Really DEPRESSING 😌 {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] meganmarrow_40655 YES [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] starcryst YEAH! [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] starcryst Welcome! [8/21/2026 7:04 PM] fictionshroom 👋 {Reactions} 👍 [8/21/2026 7:05 PM] re1nger Im here guys, its 2am here 🙂‍↕️ {Reactions} 🎉 (3) [8/21/2026 7:05 PM] starcryst Okay @re1nger What level of Feedback do you prefer? Therapeutic or Soul Crushing? {Reactions} 🔥 (2) [8/21/2026 7:05 PM] re1nger Soul crushing all the way 🙂 {Reactions} 🔥 (3) [8/21/2026 7:05 PM] starcryst good man [8/21/2026 7:05 PM] starcryst Okay remeber when you are finished say DONE [8/21/2026 7:06 PM] starcryst @MEGAN MARROW GO! [8/21/2026 7:06 PM] meganmarrow_40655 yes, i'm so ready [8/21/2026 7:06 PM] meganmarrow_40655 Fav line (s): Any thinking person with a few achievements under their belt knows what lies behind the stories that revolve around attractive and famous individuals. A regulated life will only get you to mediocrity — and who finds that attractive? {Reactions} ❤️ (6) ❤️‍🔥 [8/21/2026 7:07 PM] meganmarrow_40655 i identify with this... [8/21/2026 7:07 PM] meganmarrow_40655 That I come home cheerful after an evening walk, holding myself back from putting a bullet through my head. {Reactions} 🔥 (3) 🥹 (2) 🩷 [8/21/2026 7:07 PM] lammbbb GMT + 3? fantastic time zone {Reactions} 👍 (3) [8/21/2026 7:07 PM] meganmarrow_40655 that is the best line in the whole piece in my opinion [8/21/2026 7:07 PM] meganmarrow_40655 my take: As someone who is surrounded by high performing people in the work place in a job that requires years of sacrifice…where suicide, mental health issues, and substance use among my colleagues are quite high, and having struggled with the debilitating exhaustion that comes with burnout, this resonated a little too close to home for me. {Reactions} 🫂 (7) [8/21/2026 7:08 PM] meganmarrow_40655 The mask that high performing people put on even when they are getting help is so well curated, it’s like a delusional second skin. It’s so much easier to keep it on than to risk exposure/truth. {Reactions} ☝️ (4) 🦾 (2) 🫂 (2) [8/21/2026 7:08 PM] meganmarrow_40655 critique: [8/21/2026 7:08 PM] meganmarrow_40655 the ending doesn’t quite land as hard as the middle break. The middle break is so sharp and got me sitting up, leaning forward, worried/scared. I do love the “absurd question” about relationships…but him rattling off his philosophy feels more telling than showing. {Reactions} 💯 (6) [8/21/2026 7:08 PM] meganmarrow_40655 it kinda fizzles out {Reactions} 💯 (5) [8/21/2026 7:08 PM] meganmarrow_40655 in such a sharp, poignant piece that left me wanting [8/21/2026 7:09 PM] meganmarrow_40655 Question: What has brought him to therapy? What pushed him to finally get help? {Reactions} 🔥 (5) [8/21/2026 7:09 PM] starcryst Done? [8/21/2026 7:09 PM] meganmarrow_40655 DONE [8/21/2026 7:09 PM] starcryst @Lunetois Welcome back you wooly bastard! GO! {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ (2) ⛵ (2) [8/21/2026 7:09 PM] meganmarrow_40655 sorry, i forgot [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] meganmarrow_40655 i have kids asking me questions simultaneously [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] lammbbb > Naturally, I omitted the part about the bullet. I could always do that tomorrow. {Reactions} 🔥 (4) ❤️ [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] meganmarrow_40655 litterally touching me [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] lammbbb My favorite line, because obviously the last person you want to talk about your suicidal ideations with is a therapist. There is a dark irony in that because honestly it's also true. Therapists might have you forcibly imprisoned for observation over a few weeks due to a misplaced overdramatic comment. At the same time, they're the people you need to go to for help with these things. {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (3) 👆 [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] meganmarrow_40655 it's cool, i'm fine [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] lammbbb My criticism is short, conveniently, because it is only that the story is too short. It's little more than an amusing vingette. I would've liked this to go on longer and develop to something more. At the same time, that seems to be the point of Substack, and it's why I often feel like I've misunderstood the platform. I suspect the rest of everybody is just fine with this amuse-bouche (or perhaps amuse-regarde?) of a story; as it is visual short-form media. {Reactions} 💯 (5) [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] lammbbb That's all. [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] starcryst @The Galactic Writer GO! [8/21/2026 7:10 PM] lammbbb I'd offer you a shoulder to cry on but I'm afraid your children have made your face sticky {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:11 PM] thegalacticwriter Hi, Bekjon! Retired therapist here—thinking the client character needed to find a new shrink!!! Crap questions! No wonder the character lied. I would told the therapist—thanks for your time and left early. And never go back. Your artistry of weaving the experience was intriguing. Again, it was hard for me to separate my experience—thinking I’ve picked up on untruths before but never outed clients, that would be shaming. The act of lying is the assessment. Clearly, the character is depressed, and I did make an audible sound while making dinner when I heard: “Naturally, I omitted the part about the bullet. I could always do that tomorrow.” I think some people who are melancholy need to know they have a way out, which is the brilliance of this piece. Therapists are trained to ask about a plan and if they wish to follow through with a plan. You know what happens next if they say yes to both. Overall, I loved the theme—which is your Substack theme: struggling with the unnerving existence of the human condition. You’re a gifted writer—keep up the good work!!🙌🏼 Nice to read your work! DONE! 🙂 {Reactions} ❤️ (6) 🔥 (3) 👍 (2) [8/21/2026 7:11 PM] starcryst @steffie GO! [8/21/2026 7:11 PM] meganmarrow_40655 one is pretending to be a dog and wants me to feed her treats. {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (4) 😂 (4) 🦴 [8/21/2026 7:11 PM] rubygs Favorite Scene: I said I wake up regularly at 9, do some exercise, have a hearty breakfast, dedicate a couple of hours a day to work and invest the rest of the time in my hobbies. That I love walking in nature, climbing mountains on weekends. That I lead a social life, attend meetups for all sorts of book discussions and conversations about new ideas in AI; that talking to a bunch of people — each of them unique, isn’t that right? — you can always pick up something new. Isn’t this what everyone wants? A perfect balance of all interests and needs. {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (2) [8/21/2026 7:12 PM] rubygs Favorite Line: “No. Was there supposed to be?” Says a lot about a character that they can’t name a partner at any point {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 🔥 (3) [8/21/2026 7:12 PM] rubygs Critique: Last line didn’t really finish, it’s missing it’s closing quotation mark: “Because almost all of them are based on superficial and ephemeral things: socioeconomic status, height, flirting skills, muscle mass, and so on. This is an interesting place to stop the musing. Threw out lots of concepts to get into like status and flirting skills that you could work on over many sessions, same with muscle mass. I’d like to see more and get a full story rather than a quick glimpse into this character’s head. It feels rushed/incomplete. But other than that I’d like to see more from this character, maybe even a positive turn around for them! Done {Reactions} 💯 (3) [8/21/2026 7:13 PM] starcryst @Carl Price GO! [8/21/2026 7:13 PM] starcryst 30 people on server baby! {Reactions} 🎉 (4) [8/21/2026 7:13 PM] somedesertrat Well written for a heavily introspective-leaning and more intellect-driven piece. I did find enjoyment out of reading this, primarily because there was so little information given externally about the protagonist, which allowed me to develop them from their interiority (more on that later). The characterization is stunning, though- we do get an understanding of the character's intellectual level and self-awareness of where he currently is. It almost seemed like a session between Patrick Bateman and a pop-culture therapist. {Reactions} 🔥 (4) ☝️ (3) [8/21/2026 7:13 PM] somedesertrat > *“Because almost all of them are based on superficial and ephemeral things: socioeconomic status, height, flirting skills, muscle mass, and so on." < tells me more that the protagonist is burned out to the point of nihilism than anything else. {Reactions} 💯 (5) [8/21/2026 7:14 PM] somedesertrat Critique: Without having much information about the protagonist, it can be difficult to identify with them on a personal/emotional level (which is odd for me because I usually don't identify with protagonists). It leaves me with more questions about what they did to warrant a session with a psychologist- was it self-admission, was it mandated by a court or a superior? This level of interiority and introspection leaned into the territory of too much--instead of a scene where the character is coming to realizations or having a dialogue with the psychologist, we spend most of out time deep in the head of the character. When I reached the end of the piece, it felt unfinished, leaving off at *"“Because almost all of them are based on superficial and ephemeral things: socioeconomic status, height, flirting skills, muscle mass, and so on."* I know that there is an announcement that more is on the way, but I would have liked to see a resolution to this piece. [8/21/2026 7:14 PM] somedesertrat DONE {Reactions} ❤️ (4) [8/21/2026 7:14 PM] starcryst @BriancFahey Long time listener, first time caller. Welcome! GO! [8/21/2026 7:14 PM] briancfahey Thought the whole article was great, I instantaneously became a fan. It was real, very human and approachable. An honest take on life. And I personally love lying to psychotherapists. Also the bullet part really got me…literally. I removed something similar from a piece I wrote because I was actually armed at the time with a firearm. No cries for help here. Or is this… DONE {Reactions} ❤️ (4) 🔥 (3) [8/21/2026 7:15 PM] starcryst @Eris Index GO! [8/21/2026 7:15 PM] erisindex “I lied.” I love how hard this lands after that massive internal answer. We’ve just been dragged through everything he actually thinks, and then two words tell us he’s not saying shite. It also tells me something vital about him: it's not just people he feels disconnected from, he performs a version of himself that’s easier for them to deal with. {Reactions} ❤️ (6) 😭 (3) 🔥 [8/21/2026 7:16 PM] erisindex “Apparently that tomorrow had nearly arrived.” This one got me in the feelz. The bullet thought is already dark, but this line makes it feel less hypothetical. It doesn’t feel like he’s talking about ‘someday’ anymore. {Reactions} 💯 (5) ❤️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:16 PM] erisindex “Was there supposed to be?” I love how this shows how defensive he is. It also changes the whole feeling of the therapy conversation. The psychologist asks something pretty normal, and he hears judgment. Yep, I get that. {Reactions} 💯 (4) [8/21/2026 7:16 PM] erisindex Fav scene: The first question about his ordinary day was my fav part. We get two completely different versions of the same person at once. The real answer? Isolation, bad sleep, work, barely eating, barely moving, and a whole pile of resentment toward how people measure worth. Then the answer he gives the therapist is basically a healthy-person pamphlet. It told me more about him than if he had just sat there explaining that he lies to people. {Reactions} 💯 (5) [8/21/2026 7:16 PM] erisindex Light Crit: I understood his worldview in the beginning. I think cutting a few of those repeats would actually make him sound sharper. Then strongest thoughts wouldn’t get stamped down by repetition. I’d also insert some physical details, some focus on the therapist. Maybe a pause before writing something, a look, a page turning, something like that. {Reactions} this (6) ❤️ [8/21/2026 7:17 PM] erisindex Overall: I liked how trapped inside his own head this felt. He analyzes everything so hard that even basic questions turn into intellectual spirals about society, worth, relationships, and if or what those things mean, at least to him anyway. Relating to the character was extremely easy for me, so this felt important and personal. I’m sure a good bit of people can relate. {Reactions} 🔥 (4) same (4) 👍 (3) [8/21/2026 7:17 PM] erisindex Question: Do you think the therapist is aware that the character is lying? [8/21/2026 7:17 PM] erisindex DONE [8/21/2026 7:17 PM] starcryst @✨🍄Fiction Shroom🍄✨ GO! [8/21/2026 7:18 PM] starcryst Anyone else lurking who wants to slip on one of them rubber gloves and give some feedback? Raise dat hand! [8/21/2026 7:19 PM] fictionshroom Fav line: But no — the desire to die is the most natural thought a person can ever have. The fact that everyone has gotten used to staying silent about it doesn’t change anything at all. All the pleasures in this world exist to distract from the mind’s true thoughts: that there is no meaning, and that every human activity is an attempt to fight the emptiness that eternally awaits him at every step from birth onward. That's so real and horrible and I relate not personally but that's something I'm playing with in my serial. 👀 {Reactions} 👍 (5) 🔥 (2) [8/21/2026 7:19 PM] fictionshroom I like the whole deal with lying about his thoughts and feelings. @Lunetois already nailed why. {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 🫣 (3) [8/21/2026 7:20 PM] fictionshroom And my criticism is the same as @MEGAN MARROW it drops off at the end a bit showy maybe even author voice coming through. And personally, I get turned off by nihilism, so I lose interest in nihilistic stories or characters as a preference. {Reactions} ☝️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:20 PM] fictionshroom Done [8/21/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst Last chance for lurkers! Anyone else want to take the floor, you can raise a hand while I do my feedback! {Reactions} 🔥 (4) [8/21/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst General feedback: I loved the voice and the philosophy coming down was depressing but authentically so, so I forgave the protag. {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:21 PM] meganmarrow_40655 I related and I don't mind a little nihilism with my morning coffee 😉 {Reactions} 🔥 (3) [8/21/2026 7:21 PM] starcryst Best lines: “What does an ordinary day in your life look like?” I paused to think. Well, that’s a loaded question. Of course, if I answered that I lead an isolated life, eat little, go to bed late, wake up late, work a lot and barely move physically... <<< Hey! Is this story about me? I'm flattered! {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 🔥 (3) 👆 (3) 🤣 (7) 🛋️ (4) [8/21/2026 7:22 PM] starcryst To truly know a person takes time, to understand their actions, and in this world no one has any time left. <<< yes, yes a million times yes. {Reactions} 👍 (2) 🔥 (2) [8/21/2026 7:22 PM] fictionshroom I mean more in the sense of relationships and people and love etc having no value at all. {Reactions} 👍 (2) ❤️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:22 PM] starcryst That I come home cheerful after an evening walk, holding myself back from putting a bullet through my head. Naturally, I omitted the part about the bullet. I could always do that tomorrow. <<< this reminds me of the phrase "living lives of quiet desperation", but also, at least the guy has a sense of humor. {Reactions} 🔥 (4) 🙌 (2) 👏 (2) [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] starcryst he does have a sense of humor??? {Reactions} 🤣 (4) [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] starcryst right?? {Reactions} 🤣 (3) [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] starcryst RIGHT??? {Reactions} 😭 (2) [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] re1nger Perhaps dark humor 🫣 {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] starcryst Criticism: It felt like the story ended midway through - I wasn't sure if this was a stream of consciousness essay or if it were going somewhere with a resolution. I was really enjoying it conceptually, but I wanted to see a payoff of some kind. {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ (3) ☝️ [8/21/2026 7:23 PM] meganmarrow_40655 he has my sense of humor [8/21/2026 7:24 PM] starcryst Like maybe a big closing showtune -- Bob Fosse style or something. {Reactions} 🔥 🤣 [8/21/2026 7:24 PM] fictionshroom {Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1536890420666040332/1540501928197365791/image0.gif?ex=6ab8fcf8&is=6ab7ab78&hm=8e2aaaa1905db41408fe6098984e7d34d8e0f0322e8b169a31e4565a028420f7& {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:24 PM] starcryst But seriously -- it looked like you intended to write more on this one and I am interest in the next bit for sure. {Reactions} ❤️ 🔥 [8/21/2026 7:24 PM] somedesertrat Drier than the Gobi Desert {Reactions} 🔥 [8/21/2026 7:25 PM] starcryst All in all nice read. DONE {Reactions} ❤️ [8/21/2026 7:25 PM] starcryst Anyone else!!!!!! [8/21/2026 7:25 PM] starcryst Type now or forever hold your keys! {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:25 PM] re1nger I really liked everyone's feedback And critique is genuinely useful to me I appreciate it so much guys {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 👏 (4) 🎉 (3) 🙌 (2) 🫂 (2) [8/21/2026 7:25 PM] somedesertrat https://klipy.com/gifs/jingling-keys {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/jingling-keys jingling keys https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/pWova0P_yQPsWA5PGBeq1p7E85XrXV3sU3tnRaRiI4E/https/static.klipy.com/ii/4493325008d34b7bf8cd6813cd5c1619/0f/25/WTr6YjWsrILmRizIFzqm.webp {Reactions} 🤣 (2) [8/21/2026 7:26 PM] re1nger Yeah it cut off like in the middle, its an opening page of my WIP novella {Reactions} 🔥 ❤️ [8/21/2026 7:26 PM] starcryst OKAY - @re1nger any ~~last words~~ thing you want to say before we are ~~finished~~ done with tonights happy event?? {Reactions} 🤣 [8/21/2026 7:26 PM] meganmarrow_40655 https://klipy.com/gifs/dirty-dancing-movie-dirty-dancing-16 {Embed} https://klipy.com/gifs/dirty-dancing-movie-dirty-dancing-16 Dirty Dancing Iconic Lift with Patrick Swayze & Jennifer Grey https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/external/1GRvoQyJ83ERN1kk7ANjmApP3geHygpM0ERvzg3HyEE/https/static.klipy.com/ii/263d75c9c6d04df878152f91dbffb873/42/39/hpDAjNRa.webp {Reactions} ❤️ (4) [8/21/2026 7:26 PM] meganmarrow_40655 this is the ending we needed! [8/21/2026 7:27 PM] starcryst That would have been surprising. 🙂 {Reactions} 🤣 (4) [8/21/2026 7:27 PM] re1nger Nothing to say in particular, im just happy to see people reading the chapter and expressing their thoughts I couldn't have asked for more Thank you so much {Reactions} ❤️ (5) 💖 (2) [8/21/2026 7:27 PM] starcryst You are welcome! And we hope you come back and share with us again! {Reactions} 🔥 (2) ❤️ (3) [8/21/2026 7:27 PM] meganmarrow_40655 please do, i want the rest of hte story {Reactions} 🔥 (2) 🙌 (2) [8/21/2026 7:28 PM] starcryst That's it for WRITE CLUB - thank you all for sharing some of your most precious resource - your time! {Reactions} 🔥 (3) ❤️ (2) [8/21/2026 7:29 PM] starcryst Now join us in #write-club-after-party-july-through-sept-2026 for 2d ~~drinks~~ prozac, 3d people and 4d shameless self promotion! [8/21/2026 11:10 PM] yamamoto6008 **Favorite line:** Naturally, I omitted the part about the bullet. I could always do that tomorrow. **Favorite scene:** The lie. The ideal day he builds on the spot, and me watching him assemble it piece by piece. **Criticism: **The piece is mostly an argument and not an experience. Maslow's pyramid, Becker's Immortality Project, the statements about meaning and emptiness, all of it is the narrator explaining his worldview to me instead of me catching it off him. And we are in a room with another man, a notebook, a pen, a chair, a door, and none of it is on the page. You may try grounding the monologue in the room. Something like "He wrote something down. The pen was loud … I counted the seconds between his question and the writing, four of them, and thought about …" So the philosophy sits on a body instead of floating above it. Rhetorical questions are carrying a lot of weight here. "Aren't people chosen based on their socioeconomic status?", "isn't that right?", "won't it?", "who finds that attractive?" A few of them work, but stacked they start sounding like an essay and not like a man sitting in a chair. I would cut half. **Question: **does the psychologist catch the lie? And is this an opening of something longer or does it stop here? {Reactions} ❤️ (2) [8/22/2026 3:43 PM] libeque_63539 Favorite line: “What does an ordinary day in your life look like?” I paused to think. Well, that’s a loaded question. Favorite scene: I liked how he fabricated a lie instead of exposing his inner thoughts. Constructive criticism: Ernest Becker’s Immortality Project might not be something that someone who isn’t interested in psychology or philosophy has at the top of their mind, so that might have needed some explanation. Maslow’s pyramid, I think most people have the hang of. Overall I liked the story. Great work! {Reactions} ❤️ (2) ============================================================== Exported 131 message(s) ==============================================================